Truth
by goddessa39
Summary: PostGift. S5. Dawn realizes that her sister is different then how she really is, and that she is one of only a few who really knew the real Buffy. JoyceGilesXanderWillowRileyb ashing. BA BFSfriendship. angsty. HIATUS but still the same.


Summary: Alternate Gift speech. And afterwards. Dawn realizes that she is the only one left, besides Angel and Faith that understands her sister. Faith gets out of jail, legally, and Faith gets in a car and drives quickly to Sunnydale, and picks up Dawn. They go to an awaiting AI team, but only Angel is aware, to grieve. The scoobies secretly follow, since Dawn was apparently 'kidnapped' by Faith. When they meet there, the three of them hug, and then there is an odd breeze in the hotel, and Buffy comes out of the spiral. She looks sad, but better then they have seen her in a long time. Faith has never seen her that content in truth. She walks to them and hugs them. She speaks to them and says that she will need them. They aren't aware of it, but she will be. And that, if they don't help her through it, she will sink into despair, into herself, because they are the only ones that see through the facades... Good Guys: Lorne, Dawn, Angel, Buffy, Faith, Spike, Doyle Bad Guys: Willow, Giles, Xander, Riley, Joyce, Cordy, (Watcher's Council) Middle Guys: Tara, Wesley, Gunn,  
  
Changes:  
Joyce is alive still.  
Buffy never ran after Riley.  
'Hero' happened differently, and no one died.  
  
Prologue:  
  
Sunnydale  
  
"Dawn. I have to. You know I do.

"And even if I didn't, I would anyway. I have experienced too much to live through this. You need to know, that I love you. I love you Dawnie.

"When you heard things being said about you not being real, they were lies. They might not be able to see you, but I can. I do. You are my sister no matter what any of them say.

"Remember that. And they won't see it though, so don't expect them to. Grow up and be happy.

"Live. For me.

"They won't understand, but you need to.

"They were shown the darkness in the world, but they don't see the truth. Only you have. I can't keep up this game of charades any longer, so I'm going away.

"But listen little sister, Dawnie. I am always watching you. I love them, sure. They're my friends and family. But you are the third piece of my heart, my soul. You can be happy, you can live. So please Dawn, don't be mad at me, or blame yourself. When I go, you'll finally see what I've had to fight.

"These demons that I was 'Called' to fight against, they're not real. They were at first, but they all faded.

"I got stuck with the ones close to home. The ones that aren't aware of the truth. The ones that have no idea of the reasons I fight. The ones I call my friends. But, my reasons are coming to an end.

"I won't have to fight anymore.

"So let me do this, and then go down there and tell Him one more thing for me." Dawn nodded.

"Tell him. Tell Him, Always. And that I remember. I never forgot, I kept my promise, Always. He'll know what it means.

And tell her that she has had my forgiveness, for a long time now."

Dawn nodded, but before Buffy could turn around, Dawn grabbed her and hugged her. She kissed her cheek.

"I love you Buffy. I promise I will." Dawn smiled at her sadly. "I know. And thank you. For actually being there, for understanding even when you couldn't have."

Buffy copied her little sister's actions with a quick hug and a peck to the cheek. But she gave a saddened smile. Then she turned around, and nobody saw her look back. Because when she did, she saw three regrets:

Never truly telling Dawn how much her older-sister meani-ness was just an act, not fighting harder for Him, and not working it out with her sister-slayer.

She closed her eyes. She never felt the pain of the portal breaking bones, or stopping her heart. All she saw was the two pieces of her soul. And she sent a silent message to her sisters. And then she was gone. The slayer had finally, willingly, fallen.  
Fallen...  
Fallen...  
Fallen...  
And she was gone. She had finally, just  
..................Fallen..............

L.A.

Faith knew something bad was going down tonight. She could feel it in her bones.

And then she was asleep. And she had dreamt the things that had happened. Now she was alone.

The slayer had finally died. She was free. No one was hovering around her, making her their shadow.

A tear slipped down her face, even though she was dreaming. She knew this was real. And she watched.

But this new slayer was not happy. She was surprised; Faith thought that she wanted Buffy dead; until now. She saw the truth.

When Faith had come to Sunnydale, she had tried to get everything of Buffy's for her own. Her mind changed when she learned. She saw every important moment in Buffy's life. She felt even worse now.

She had tried to take everything away from her, and it was not something either of them wanted, but her older-sister-slayer only kept a hold on, because if she didn't, then she would slip through the cracks herself.

Faith saw that her big sis wasn't going down from some no-good demon ass kicking. She was going out heroic, poetic. She was going now, taking her chances, she was finally making her own choices, since no one would ever let her make her own.

But she was still helping everyone out instead of being greedy. And Faith cried in her sleep as she saw everything that this person had to endure. She was never a girl since she learned of her 'Calling.' She was never sleeping or just letting herself follow the music. She was watching herself, protecting the one thing she had left; The one bit of humanity to hold onto, to keep the world from being worthless.

And she was doing it. And Faith cried for it. She felt her soul open up in blood for what the girl that she had always pictured as her sworn enemy had had to do. This girl had barely been living. She had merely been existing.

When she awoke, she knew what she was going to do. And she did it. She used her get-out-of-jail-free card the Oracles gave her, and went straight to Sunnydale in the first car she came across...   
  
L.A.  
  
Angel felt it immediately. He knew. Cordy had been sitting on the thrown, and they had sorted all of their stuff out. They were going to go home.

And then, he felt it. His mate's call. And then, it was gone, and he felt some of his soul go with it. The demon didn't use this to any advantage though, it was numb as well. If that part of the soul was gone, it only meant one thing.

The mate was dead.

His mate's soul had gone on without him. It was the only explanation, and he knew. And he was numb. That was all. He was barely aware of what was said, or what happened until he walked through the portal, and landed back in the club.

According to the others, he was acting the same; except for the only demon around them. Lorne kept staring at him oddly.

Lorne himself was confused. When they found Cordy on the throne, Angel had been fine.

But a few minutes later, he felt something, that could only be described as a PANG. Or as some kind of signal. He didn't know what.

But his head was off of his body, so he just shook it off as an off-of-body experience. (lol) But even when he got himself back together, his friend had been, off.

He acted the same, and no one else noticed. But the Pylean couldn't help but feel like something was. Wrong. He never knew how right he was.

Sunnydale:

Dawn walked to her sister's bedroom, numb. Her sister had died for her. She quickly ran through what Buffy had said, and was confused. She held on to it though, as strange as it sounds. She couldn't handle, her sister was down and Dawn felt like it was her felt. She saw it as her fault, even though her sister said it wasn't true.

She found a box on her bed. Dawnie was neatly sprawled on it. She went to open it, but a knock at the door said that the rest of the gang was here.

She opened the door and walked through it. She went downstairs and curled up on a chair. Everyone was quiet for a while. It was Willow that spoke up. "We should call him. He has to know. He'd want to know"

Those who were able, nodded. Xander spoke then. "Does anyone know his number, or where he is?" Willow answered. "I got a letter from him a while back. I... I should call now." Xander and Joyce nodded. Dawn sat there, just listening, trying not to think.

"Riley always was a nice boy." Joyce said, almost dreamily, but unhappily.

Dawn's face shot up at that. And Buffy's words before made sense now. Everything clicked.

"What? Why are you calling Riley?! Hello-Angel Anyone?! He was the love of her life."

Willow looked a bit startled before replying. "What? Dawnie, you know that what Riley had with her was real and sweet. Angel was just a phase."

Spike, angered at the comments shot up. "Bloody Hell! What the fuck is wrong with you people?! Were you even there when he was?!"

The gang, except Spike, seemed to ignore most of it, and Spike went to the hallway following Dawn. He stopped her and said, "What is it Nibblet?"

She had gotten a look on her face in a look that said she was waiting and then the conversation had happened. She looked up at him.

"Faith's coming, We gotta go before Angel does something stupid. He's our responsibility now. We gotta keep him going." She said simply, like it was really nothing in the world that had changed. Spike accepted it though, and sat down in the hallway, not wanting to be near the oblivious scoobies. Dawnie walked into her sister's room and resumed opening the box.

There were letters in it. She saw her's and she opened it, her hands were shaking.

She read:  
  
_Dawnie  
_

_If you're reading this, I am dead. I thought I would be. This time though, I accepted it, I got a message with the first slayer. Death is my Gift. At first, I laughed at it. How can death be a gift. But then I got back home and I saw those around me. Then, I laughed at myself.  
_

_But you need to know this. It wasn't your fault. I did what I had to do. I did it. I got killed somewhere in the process. _

_But I can guarantee you something. It didn't hurt; or if it did, then I didn't feel it. I was surrounded in the euphoria of love, respect, acceptance, belief, and understanding- you, Faith and Angel. That's what my happiness feels like while I'm alive. My heaven should be better.  
_

_Anyway, it honestly wasn't your fault. I died, it was time. It's my destiny AND THERE'S NO WAY I AM GOING TO LET YOU PAY A PRICE THAT IS MINE. _

_You need to live little sis. Find someone that can get the pieces of you making sense, and people around you to help you through and not judge you.  
_

_I know something. _

_When I die, she'll come to get you. I want you in an environment that won't suffocate you like it did me. _

_Spike will probably go with you as well if he is still around. It's fine, he had been understanding. He knows, and my diary is locked in my closet. You're welcome to it, as are Angel and Faith. Only you three though.  
  
B _

_P.S. When I touch you, I get a tingly feeling. It tells me something about you. _

_It doesn't say you're fake and magical. It says you're real, and you're my sister. You're part of me-a part of my soul. _

_Know that before you blame yourself. The monks might have made you, but the made you out of something real. So you are real. You're as real as it gets. Thank you for being my sister. _

_Even If you can be bratty or mean every now-and-then..._

Dawn read it more then once, savoring her last link to her sister. She was real. And it wasn't her fault that...

She didn't finish the thought. She could feel the girl she never really liked, but the one that became her sister over this fiasco, she could feel her getting closer. She sat there and looked through the box.

She took out the letters, and went through the box. Dawn could almost hear her telling her about it. "This is the box that holds the things that are real. Not the things that are behind a mask." Dawn felt her lips move almost to a smile at that. But it didn't make it. She kept looking through the box. There were a lot of pictures. Almost all of them were before her 17th birthday. She never saw any of Riley, or Scott, or any boy she had dated, except for Angel. Tara and Oz were there. As were Faith and even Cordy in a few.

She didn't see any of their mother after her 17th birthday either, or any of the older scoobies. She saw the key to Buffy's closet and went to open it up. When she did, she found the 7 diaries previous, and took them out. Before she made it out though, she saw the guitar spread out and ready, with a bunch of cassette tapes next to it. She picked up the top one and the paper on it read...

_Dawnie. For your memory of me_.

Dawn was back in her memories from before Buffy became the slayer. She felt like crying or screaming at the world to bring her back, that it wasn't fair.

Buffy was totally into music and ice skating, but when she found out about her destiny, she gave up on those dreams. She didn't think anyone of them except for her, her mom, and Angel knew it. And she doubted that her mom would even remember it.

Dawn grabbed her sister's biggest weapons bag and emptied it. She started throwing Buffy's things that she would want kept, including her guitar. She took some of Buffy's and some of her own clothes, and went outside.

Everyone was curious, and Joyce just looked at her and pretended she didn't see any of it. Spike realized what she was doing, and went to get his Desoto.

Faith showed up a couple of minutes after, and didn't even look at her.

They were quiet the whole ride there. Dawn could hardly think.

Silent tears dripped down Faith's cheeks, not ceasing. Dawn remembered the tapes, and checked the cassette player. It was intact.

She bent back and grabbed the back. She opened it half way and grabbed the nearest tape. She looked at Faith. "Do you mind?" she asked. "Sure." Faith answered simply. Dawn took it out of it's case and slid it into the player.

A voice on the other end took over.  
  
"Christmas 1999" Buffy's voice flooded the car, and Faith and Dawn were crying openly over the station.  
  
_I remember stormy weather  
  
The way the sky looks when it's cold  
  
And you were with me  
  
Content with walking  
  
So unaware of the world_

"I didn't know that she sings." No one tried to correct her. It was to new to face.

_Please don't drive me home tonight  
  
'Cause I don't wanna feel alone  
  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
  
'Cause I don't wanna go"_

She did before she became the slayer." Dawn replied.

_Tuesday morning  
  
In the dark  
  
I was finding out  
  
Who you are"_

She was going to either ice skate, or sing and play guitar."

_I took your picture  
  
While you were sleeping  
  
And then I paced around the room  
  
If I had known then  
  
That these things happen  
  
Would they have happened to you?_

Faith felt like swearing to destiny now. She heard Buffy's music. 'It would have made a fine ass album' She thought to herself.

_Please don't drive me home tonight  
  
'Cause I don't wanna feel alone  
  
Please don't drive me home tonight  
  
'Cause I don't wanna go_

_Tuesday morning  
  
In the dark  
  
I was finding out  
  
Who I was_

_And if you turned around to see me and I was gone  
  
You should have looked outside your window  
  
'Cause the sun was coming up_

_Please don't drive me home tonight  
  
'Cause I don't wanna feel alone_

_Tuesday morning  
  
In the dark  
  
We were finding out  
  
Who we are  
  
Who we are  
_

Neither of the girls spoke for the rest of the car ride.

Dawn never asked her how she knew Buffy was gone.

Faith never asked her how she knew to wait outside. Buffy's music just went to the background, reminding them, that there was a time when Buffy was all sunflowers and daisies.

And when there wasn't, she wasn't always fully alone. She had a way to express herself.

It wasn't very comforting knowing that this music was played out, and no one bothered to answer her back, until it was too late...


End file.
